Author:
Simulacrum
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Date:
2/10/2012 12:30:58 PM
Subject:
RE: I suck at life
"Yuah honah, allow me to offah mah most contrite apologies fo' having offended this auspicious body. If I understand you correctly, you wish me to sit down and be quiet. OH! IF ONLY I COULD, YUAH HONAH!! But what is this I see befo' me? Is it a DAGGHA? NAW!!! It is an OUTRAGE! AN ABOMINATION OF THE MOST POISONOUS STAMP! Excepting yo' gracious presence, yuah honah, I see befo' me an attempt to DENY this man his due and vigorous defense! If the coaht will allow me to produce some witnesses who can testify to the PEERLESS CHARACTER of the accused, I shall be forevah beholden. Regrettably, these witnesses have been mysteriously DETAINED, which leads me to suspect that the accused may have enemies in high circles -- I say CIRCLES OF HEIGHT -- PRINCIPALITIES AND POWAHS -- unseen and insidious agents of ruthless men. Some call them the ILLUMINATI! Othahs refer to them as the BILDERBERG GROUP! Still othahs whispah the name of the dread VOLDEMORT and his vile DEATH EATERS! I must ask fo' a continuance, yuah honah, or else the principles upon which we founded this great nation may be swept away by the murderous dealings of the INDUSTRIAL AND MILITARY COMPLEX working in concert with every enemy of man -- THE JOKER, THE RIDDLER -- NEED I GO ON?"
