Author:
Simulacrum
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Date:
2/3/2009 9:23:06 PM
Subject:
RE: Latest circuit city report:
They should ask for some of the bailout money. All the other would-be sheiks did.
"We need bailout money."
"Why should we give it to you?"
"Because we have a group of idea men at the top of our ladder who make princely salaries and bonuses, and we'd like to give them more money."
"Go on."
"When we were profitable, we laid off many of our better-paid store employees so we could replace them with cheap labor."
"We're listening."
"Like most people of our ilk, we spent huge sums on lavish office buildings, caviar buffets, private jets, and we made all kinds of bad decisions that put us into a black hole of debt, but we decided we would shave our heads and get tattoos."
"Well, you make a persuasive case. We'll give you $20 billion."
"THANK YOU! We're going to celebrate by taking our idea men to Brussels and let them wallow in luxury and all manner of deviant practices with goats and large black dogs."
"$25 billion."
