Author:
johnny-g
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Date:
10/4/2013 9:59:30 AM
Subject:
It's October and that means...
an onslaught of shitty "horror" movies to catch up on. My first was Martyrs because I always heard things about it but could never find it on demand (it's a French Canadian film). I can tell you it was more annoying than disturbing. Here's a film that took a decent concept, but then couldn't decide if it wanted to be torture porn or just a surreal horror flick with occasional twists. You don't get to know enough about the main character to actually care about her. She just becomes a "survivor" with no real attachment to the audience.
Maybe I'm just irritated that I had to buy it in order to actually watch the damn thing. If you want to completely traumatize any sensitive females in your life, it does work like a charm for that. Teresa was crying in one scene and I thought she just needed to blow her nose so I offered her nasal spray. Upon realizing she was actually crying I just thought to myself, "really? These characters are far too two dimensional for any sane person to give a shit about them. Wait, when is the last time she had her period? Maybe that can account for the irrational emotions. Hmmm... I know it's been a few weeks but I don't think she's due. Wait, you can't get hormonal if you're pregnant can you? I don't think you can real early on so that shouldn't be a concern... but maybe I need to Google this later. Can I Google this now on my phone without being distracting?"
At this point I probably missed 15 to 20 minutes of the movie and I'm sure other stuff happened. That being said, A for effort on the overall concept and flow of the movie. I'll never watch it again but I've seen worse movies. This comes a few days after rewatching Event Horizon so the bar was set pretty low. God dammit, Event Horizon. I want to like you so bad but there's SOO many awful parts.
