Author: Simulacrum  <nub>    107.201.120.172 Use this link if you want to link to this message and its entire thread of discussion. Post a Msg
Date: 12/20/2018 8:13:27 AM
Subject: Mountain Dew

Apparently, you get some kind of bonus in The Division 2 when you buy Mountain Dew.



First, I thought The Division 2 was already out, which demonstrates how closely I've been following this game.

Second, I have never understood this connection between gaming and Mountain Dew. Do people really drink this while playing games? Is there something in it that helps you shoot more red barrels or react more quickly to QTEs?

Unless they've changed the formula, I can't make sense of this. I stopped drinking Mountain Dew when I was about twelve years old because I couldn't tell much difference between it and antifreeze. Has it gotten better?

Have you noticed that male gamers always talk about their girlfriends? Do the girlfriends drink Mountain Dew too? Do they cram Doritos into their faces like their boyfriends? At least I can understand the popularity of Doritos.

For some time now, I've thought that the hardcore gamer nerd was a myth, but I'm beginning to wonder whether such boys and their girlfriends really exist. Do they really huddle together in basements, swilling Mountain Dew, stuffing Doritos into their maws, and surround themselves with Nintendo and Star Wars memorabilia?

Can our society sustain such malfunctioning creatures? Is it possible to interest them in beer, chicken wings, the NFL, and other healthy American lifestyle choices? Can I end this paragraph without asking a question? Yes.